(day 4 doesn’t exist to me.)
This one is rather difficult for me to answer.
Relationship wise….
My views on love change or I’m unsure about what really makes “love” possible between two people. Though, I can say with every year, I become more aware of things I want to share (such as interests) with my significant other or the type of person I want to spend the rest of my life with.
But where my problem lies is in long term committed relationships. Maybe I am completely not into the idea of such a long term commitment with someone. Or maybe because my idea of love is so much different than what I’m experiencing that I subconsciously can’t make the commitment. Which has been coming to my attention, sadly…
My definition of love right now, is skewed. Doesn’t make sense. But when does love ever make sense? Which is why I feel so many people feel so baffled about it, and usually can’t explain it unless you’re in it. And when you’re in it, it all depends on each couples individual views, compatibility with one another and over all intimate feelings each person in the couple feels.
I’ve been with the same guy for 4.5years now and I can say our love is entirely different then any other love I’ve felt for anyone else. We have quite a bit in common interest wise. We typically agree on all political or social ideas. But our problem lies in our own personalities. They clash. To say they don’t would be naive. I’m quiet, sarcastic, humorous, straight to the point, laid back (but can be extremely anxious) and I like to see where life just takes me. Scott is quite the opposite. He is very outgoing, enjoys intense/debatable conversations, serious, humorous (but the things we find funny are very different spectrum. mine being dry, clever and sarcastic. and his being blatantly obvious or over the top comedy.) and he is very focused.
I don’t know if these differences are enough to just call it quits though. But I feel I’d be more happier with someone, not identically like me, but more similar. I want someone that gets my sarcasm, doesn’t always think I’m mad when really I’m just trying to lighten the mood. (If my room mate is laughing at something and I say, and my Boyfriend doesn’t and just assumes the worse, i feel there is an issue.) But I also wonder, if that just always happens…. But, I’m not sure.
We met when we were so young really. We were both 18, I was turning 19 and he had literally just turned 18. And now, here we are, I’m 23 and he is 22. Maybe as we grew older and more knowledgable of the world, etc, we just went in different directions. And I know I talk about this a lot… but its something I need to really sort out. Half of me thinks I’ve made the decision already…
Friendship and Family wise…
My view is a bit more positive. Friends that you become so close to that even if they live in other places in the world, you stay connected. I think it’s a bit strange of me to have stayed so close with those that live ages away. The friends that live in the same city as me, or only a few short hours away, I’ve become less connected with. More and more each year. But really, its part of life, and couldn’t stop loving them for that though. They gave me such great memories when we were close to another.
Family of course is just as unconditional as Friendships. Always close to your heart, no matter how often you see them. Though with Family, you will see them one way or another. And friendships that fade, don’t usually work out like that. You mostly just hold onto the idea of love with faded friendships, where as Family goes, never leaves.
But right… not sure what else to discuss. And really should be studying. x
